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Scotty wanted me to pass this along to you all.

Saturday May 9th
Jim Dowds Shoot for the stars foundation, presents Hockey night in Hoboken. A Fundraiser for families in need & local childern's organizations in New Jersey.

Appearances By Ken Daneyko, Jim Dowd & Scott Ferrall of the Scott Ferrall show on Howard 101. Additional Current players to be announced soon.
For Tickets: www.neco.com/hockeynight

Willie McBrides Pub
616 Grand St
Hoboken, NJ 07030-2807
http://www.williemcbrides.com

Live music by PUMP CITY
$2 Drafts

We can not allow any child porn, horror, snuff, nonconsensual sex, torture, asphyxiation, animal sex, hardcore bondage with sex, penetration with any form of bondage, necro, blood, scat, vomit, fisting, pissing on people, drinking piss, or crushing of crabs, lobsters, spiders, fish, scorpions, lizards.

Ever since Artie starting advertising cock rings on his website the question has been raised, what exactly is a cock ring, what's it for, & does it work? There seems to be a hell of a lot of confusion but why? What's the secret? When Adam & Eve got in touch with me looking for something like my Fleshlight writeup I told them cock rings! I want cock rings! They sent over 4 and I got right on the horn to let them know it's not enough, I need more cock rings! A big box of cock rings in every imaginable shape, material, & style. If I'm going to do a writeup, I'd like to get to the bottom of this cock ring mystery. I've never used one before but I'm certainly not intimidated by toys so lets get started.


Well here they are, Mutt's cock rings. It's not exactly a great big box of cock rings but it's a lot and Adam & Eve has plenty more to choose from. I don't want to get too graphic but YES, I did try all these things on. Not all at once mind you but over the course of a week, I gave them a demo. Now I'm certainly no expert but I'm pretty confident that I can answer your questions if after reading all this, you still have some.

Howard says that as a kid he heard about them and guys with big dicks would wear them to keep from bottoming out when having sex so they didn't hurt the girl. No wonder I've never needed one of these. Fred says it's a cock tourniquet that traps in the blood to intensify your hardon. Benjy says they make you last longer and has used vibrator cock rings for her added pleasure. We're already all over the place and it seems like I'm going to have to get some hands on training.

Here's what I've learned. The reason there is confusion is because there are lots of different kinds with different purposes. These things aren't 1 size fits all and there's no 1 and only 1 way to put them on. It's a toy. Maybe not as exciting as a giant vibe, but still fun. If your girl wants to get adventurous, go for it. With Adam & Eve's 50% off sale, these things are only a couple bucks and there's no wrong way to use it. She doesn't know what it's for anyway. Snap it around your cock to make it swell, around your balls to be kinky, hell snap one around both or get two and snap one around each. Get one that vibrates for her, who the hell cares. Just getting it & using it is in itself adventurous. Besides, maybe you two will like it.

What do they do? Do they work? What did I like? Check out the following for details. Please refer to this labeled pic.

Do cock rings squeeze your cock to trap the blood / giving you a bigger longer lasting hardon?
YES, if you get the right one. To cut off blood it's gonna have to squeeze. You'll need something that snaps tight & you'll have to find one that fits you right. See the snowflake looking ones, though they are small enough to wear like Jackie's finger cots, they stretch like a mother. I got one around my wrist for Christ's sake. The one with the danglers was actually OK. It might look a lot bigger but it was way less stretchy. Still, I was able to open it enough to to cinch around my balls. I'd use that one again. See the bolo ones? You can make those as tight as you want. Real easy to use. You can put them on hard or semi hard. For whatever reason blood still pumps in but gets trapped in there. I didn't take measurements or anything but I'd say it was more engorged than normal. It was certainly more purple. It didn't interfere with sex at all and it didn't hurt. But would it keep me hard? For testing purposes, after sex I left one on and took my time taking a shower. If I was still hard after a shower, these things are good. After the shower though it wasn't full raging hardon, it was certainly still purple & engorged. When I took it off, my semi immediately went away. There sure is something to it.

Do cock ring help you hold out longer?
I don't know about that. I was still able to cum normally with all of them. Slapping one around my balls didn't stop me. slapping one around both my cock & balls didn't seem to effect it either. The Bead one looked like it would work best for this. My thinking was I'd have to position that bead at the bottom so it blocks 'the main vein". My theory seemed solid but it was sooooo fucking tight. Crazy tight. It was snug around my thumb & it didn't appear to have any stretch. There's no way I thought I'd get it on. Luckily I remembered Jeff the Drunks immortal words, she wouldn't lube it up. So lube it up I did but it was still a struggle to get it on. I had to fight with it. To my amazement, it slowly opened up and I was able to roll it on. I couldn't imagine having anything ever possibly being tighter. Even with that I still came normally. Less of it came out but I still came and as soon as I took it off, the missing cum drained out. IMHO, they didn't help me hold out. BUT keep in mind that it does help you hold the hardon so even though I came I was able to keep going. Bottom line, sex was longer.

Do cock rings intensify your orgasm?
They say that when you cum your balls pull up close to your body. I didn't realize that but I'll buy it. They also say that by cinching a cock ring around your balls it keeps your balls from being able to retract giving you a different effect. Well, i tried it. See that green double. I couldn't get that thing on for the life of me. I think you need to be an advanced cock ring expert to handle that type. You need to put them on while semi hard, one ball at a time & then your cock. I really tried, but every time I'd finagle my balls in there I'd be too hard to get the other half over my cock. The double bolo on the other hand was easy. It not only held blood in my cock it snugged up my balls and sorta pulled them. As my cock moved, it tugged on the balls. It was different feeling. Sorta dirty or kinky, I don't know what the right word but it was sexy & fun. I won't goes as far as to say better or intensify my orgasm but different and different is fun.

Do cock rings make it better for her?
Sure, if you get the right one. In my pics you'll see 2 big ones with vibrators that sorta look more like candy rings than cock rings. These ones don't really do what the others did but they did make your cock like the rabbit vibrator. I'm sure they would give your girl a little something extra but I felt silly wearing it. They have different ones that are more of a simple cock ring with a bullet vibrator on it. IMHO, it's more discrete and less silly looking.

Do cock rings protect girls keeping you from going too deep?
NO, that's just plain silly. When you put them on they go all the way down to the base. It's not a regulator. I've found no evidence of this being the case.

What's with the leather one?
There are all kinds of leather cuffs with velcro, snaps, spikes, etc but IMHO they're just too gay. Maybe you think differently but they reminded me of JD's movie Supertwink. I didn't really give them a chance.


So there it is. I'm sure this writeup will elicit lots of too much info, I didn't need to know that types of responses but I hope it also helps some people have a better understanding of the topic. It's certainly not something I'd use every time but maybe every now and then I'll pull one out. It was fun and sometimes you need to change it up a little.

DISCOUNT
Adam & Eve gave us a 50% off deal for SFNers. You can use the banner below. It's good for almost anything they sell, DVDs, vibrators, and yes cock rings. If you use it, be a sport and tell us what you ordered. I know it's embarrassing but I just told you about the rubber ring I snapped around my balls. you can do it.

• KC Armstrong says cock rings are NICE! (LINK)
• Artie sells cock rings on his website (LINK)
• Howard says cock rings are by over sized men to protect women from damage. (LINK)
• Robin heard that cock rings are used to enhance sex (LINK)
• Benjy said how it holds blood in, keeps you hard, & helps you last longer. (LINK)
• Benjy says he's used the vibrating kind. (LINK)
• Howard & Fred say they've never used them. (LINK)

GIVEAWAY : 20 WINNERS, 44 TICKETS, 3 SHOWS

Florentine • Dipaolo • Levy
Starland Ballroom, NJ

Plus Chris Johnston + Joe Conte! An all-ages to enter, 21 to drink comedy event

Artie Lange
Starland Ballroom, NJ

An all-ages to enter, 21 to drink event.

Richard & Sal have a new website to promote the their appearances www.TheRichardAndSalShow.com. Artie said to go out on your own and that's exactly what they did. The website is new and doesn't have a ton of content yet but it has their upcoming shows, links to book them, photos, & a contact form. Check it out & shoot them an email.



UPCOMING EVENTS
March 7 - Treehouse Comedy Club in Stratford, CT
March 15 - Northeast Motorcycle Expo in Philadelphia, PA
March 21 - Treehouse Comedy Club in Stamford, CT
March 26 - McGuire's in Long Island, NY
March 27 & 28 - The Scriba Town Inn in Oswego, NY
April 2 - Manhattan Comedy Club in Middletown, NY
April 3 - Cinema Paradiso in Fort Lauderdale FL
April 4 - The Atlantic Theater in Jupiter, FL
April 24 & 25 - The Comedy Connection in East Providence, RI
May 8 & 9 - Peabody's in Cleveland, OH
May 23 - Winston's in San Diego, CA
June 4 - The Highland Ballroom in Atlanta, GA

Visit the website, www.TheRichardAndSalShow.com for tickets & further details.

Join myself and several hundred friends & fans of the Howard Stern show in Hoboken
Sunday May 3rd for the Comedy Rocks New Jersey Charity Show
starring Artie Lange at Hoboken's Lana Lounge

That's right! Artie Lange is Live in his hometown, Hoboken NJ!!

Proceeds go to support the Valerie Fund. A non-profit organization for children with cancer & blood disorders. We can not thank Artie enough for donating his time to help our cause.

Goto www.comedyrocksnj.com to buy tickets.
General admission tickets cost $58 for singles, $97 a pair, or $154 for a 4-pack. VIP tickets are $98 and include reserved seats, access to the lounge, access to the meet & greet, a gift pack, and 1 drink.
Sunday May 3rd with Meet & Greet @ 6:30PM & show starts @ 7:30PM


You can also support the charity by buying a raffle ticket at www.comedyrocksnj.com for a 50" LG HT Flat Screen TV with BLU-RAY Player & Home Theater System.

I always get emails from people that want me to checkout their website or product and give them a plug on SFN. When Brick House Security emailed saying they were the people from the Duracell commercial where the kid gets lost in the park and mom sees a van pulling away but then she finds him with some sorta kid tracker deal (here's the commercial, god damn Kevin), my initial reaction was I don't think this is a good fit for SFN. Before I emailed back saying thanks but no thanks, I swung by their website BrickHouseSecurity.com to peek around and they've got all the goodies you'd find in a spy shop. There are voice changers and phone call recorders that a prank caller would need, hidden cameras for more prank fun, and even tasers & stun guns for full on Bubba-type antics, but it was spotting this insane outdoor floodlight spy cam that screws into a regular socket and transmits the video thru the power lines to a recorder inside that got me to email them back. The thing is kick ass. I stopped by their NYC offices last week and picked up a big shopping bag of spy shit to demo. I feel like Gadget Gary.

They gave me close to a dozen items to play with so insert your Colin Powell graphic now. This is gonna be one of those long assed Mutt posts but I promise I'll try to keep it tight. (FYI, These things don't really come with Brickhouse Security stickers plastered all over them.)


Secret Agent Camcorder Watch
The camcorder watch is completely covert. Nobody would ever believe there's a color audio/video camcorder built into it. It takes some practice to aim the thing but using it is simple and and pulling the video off of it is as easy as using a USB thumb drive. By wearing it on my left arm, I could put my hand to my chin and shoot video right side up sitting at a table and by wearing it on my right arm, I could leave my arm down by my side and walk around. The video is small but good enough for youtube. Here's a sample video of me playing with the dog.

Micro DVR with Button and Screw Camera
The button & screw cam takes a little more setup but you certainly don't need to worry about aiming. It's one of those things you see in the movies where the guy is wired to go in undercover on a drug bust. After picking a button close to the ones on my shirt and slipping the button cam into my shirt, using it was simple. I was able to put the little DVR into my jeans pocket and by leaving my shirt untucked, everything was 100% hidden. (just don't get frisked) It was easy enough to reach into my pocket and start / stop recording. I didn't have to worry about aiming it. Basically as long as I remembered to turn my body & not just my head, it recorded what ever I looked at. If you are serious about it, the camera comes with real buttons for the rest of the shirt and a perfect match. It uses a MiniSD memory card so pulling video off of it is just like getting photos off your digital camera. Don Jamieson told me that he & Jim Florentine use a similar setup with the camera in a pair of shades to film Meet the Creeps. As far as the video quality, it was a little grainy but a larger picture than the watch. Here's a sample video of me standing in the powder room looking in the mirror.

Mega Mini Spy Camera Pro Built in DVR
The mega mini cam is smaller than your thumb but can record video w/ audio that's every bit as good as your digital camera. It's not disguised as anything like these others but it's small enough that you could hide it in almost anything. The controls are simple. After turning it on, you only need to worry about the record / stop button. When I had Beetlejuice in the Jeep riding from AC to NYC, every time I tried filming him singing Van Halen, he'd clam up. If I had this then, it would have been easy to clip it to the sun visor and then adjust the visor so it was pointing right at him. If you weren't inspecting it, you'd never guess it was a cam. It has a voice activated option that automatically starts / stops recording when it hears something. With this you could hide it in something like a pack of smokes & then sit it on a shelf. Without a doubt it was the highest quality cam and the smallest all around package. I will certainly continue to use this. Here's a sample video of our boxer, Jersey opening a door.

I can't wait for the next big event to give things a real try out. I'll be back with some candid video for sure.



Black Box Hidden Camera
This thing doesn't look like anything. It's a plastic box with no buttons or lights that's about the size of an 8-track. If you found it you'd have no reason to think it's a camera. There's a hidden compartment on one end. From there you can access the SD memory card and the on / off button. The opposite end is where the camera is. Once you turn it on, you sit it on a shelf and that's it. It's motion activated and records whenever anything passes by it. They recommend hiding it in something like a tissue box but I slid it under the TV and the shiny black finish let it blend right in with the other stereo equipment. It's a color picture & super easy to use but there isn't any sound. Would be cooler with sound but for catching people stealing or snooping in your office, it's perfect. Here is an action packed sample video of me drinking coffee.

Modern Clock DVR Nightvision Hidden Camera
Theses hidden cameras are cool as shit but it's stuff like this one that's got the whole family freaked out. Every one fo the kids is like, what are you doing with all these cameras? Built into this alarm clock is a motion detected camera with night vision. Would be perfect for your Paris Hilton video (I kid, I kid) but seriously, it's one hell of a nanny cam. You can inspect it as much as you want and you'll never find any signs of a camera. You can even unplug it, move it, and it will just start right back up when you plug it in. It's completely automatic. When you want to check the video you have 2 options. Use the included special magnetic tool to open a secret panel and pull out the SD card or plug the included cable into what appears to be a headphone jack, plug it into your TV, and use the remove to play back everything it's saved. The video is black & white and there's no audio but the thing is bulletproof and perfect for someone who just needs a nanny cam. There's no turning it off or discovering the camera. Here's a very boring sample video of me walking thru the family room.


MORE
It's not just all cameras though. If you are worried about the wife's emotional friend, they have GPS trackers that alert you when the unit enters what you've decided is the bad area or when it's left the safe area, SIM card readers that let you read deleted text messages off her phone, key loggers that record everything she types on the computer including emails, IM's, facebook, etc, and anything else you might need including semen detection kits. I have some of this stuff here but haven't even started working with it yet. I might as well call it a day. I'm sure if I type any more, you guys will riot.


COUPON CODE
They gave me a $20 Off $175 coupon code "SFN20". With that you could grab something like the mega mini or the watch for $180.


VIDEO SOFTWARE HELP
- Rotate The Video Clips, Don’t Tilt Your Head or the Computer Screen - a useful article which suggests using Windows Movie Maker to rotate video that's on it's side 90 degrees (for when the mega mini cam or the black box cam is on it's side) or using VirtualDub to rotate it as much or as little as you need. (for times when the camcorder watch is at a odd angle)
- Ultra Video Splitter - an extremely easy tool to crop out snippets of video. It's what I used when cutting the sample clips and it couldn't have been simpler. I highly recommend it.
- Ultra Video Joiner - great for when you have 2 video files and you only want 1. really quick & easy.
- VLC Media Player - this free video player handles everything. Any time I can't get a video to play I feed it to this and it works perfectly.

if you have any other video soft suggestions, let me know and I'll add it here.